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Part 3 – Sneak Peek: S & M

Phette Hollins

When spring finally arrives in Michigan it is quite beautiful. I was able to wear my favorite white linen pants and a white crocheted halter top. I slid on my silver sandals with the rhinestones to set it off. My toes were freshly polished and my heels scrubbed –ready for the season. I picked up my phone before walking out the door, but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a message from Quatrina Brantley.

I placed my purse on the table, sat down and began reading.

You don’t know me, but apparently you are familiar with my husband. I know you know he has a wife, so I’m not sure why you are choosing to keep communicating with him. But I’m coming to you woman to woman when I say STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!!!! I saw the comment you left on one of the pics on his…

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I live with my baby mama but I swear on my kids we ain’t f@cking – #Ninja2 | #LetItPurge #PurgeItThursday #DiggingInTheBag | @phettehollins #DITB

Phette Hollins



1. to rid of whatever is impure or undesirable; cleanse; purify.

2. to rid, clear, or free (usually followed by of or from).

Stories connect & heal us. Sometimes we’re stuck and don’t even know it. It becomes a new normal. Second nature. But if you find that you keep ending up in situations that have you questioning who you are as a person, go against your morals/values, or, to put it plainly, just don’t make you feel good about yourself, then it’s time to get that shovel, and dig deep (within).

When we repeat patterns, we’re stuck. There are lessons to learn from these experiences. If we don’t get them, they will keep showing up until we do…for however long it takes. Took me almost 20 years.

We teach people how to treat us

Initially, I was going to do this –>#DiggingInTheBag<–series in chronological order…

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If you lost your virginity @11 yrs old, you’d be effed up, too | #DiggingInTheBag |@phettehollins #DITB

Phette Hollins

Digging in the bag is metaphoric for Digging in the soul. What I discovered as I was scavenging through old photos was how different I was “back then.” Of course, as time progresses the hope is to grow. But sadly, some folks don’t. They stay stuck, stagnant.


I want to take the time to celebrate growth…and healing by sharing the head space I was in during the time of the photos compared to where I am now. We are who we are for a reason. We behave in the manner we do due to our upbringing, pre-disposition (genetics), experiences, what we’ve been exposed to, etc.

I knew I had serious issues shortly into my marriage. At a time when I should’ve been happy (especially since 3 of the men I dated previously got married after our breakup), I wasn’t. I didn’t know it then, but that took a toll on my…

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